An unexpected gift.

For Christmas this year I received a set of inspirational and questioning journals from my youngest daughter. She knows I like to write and thought this would help with some ideas for my blog.

To be completely honest, I was not sure at the time she was right. It is not something I would ever have considered buying for myself. I am not someone who reads inspirational quotes or positive thoughts for the day, however I do find human behaviour fascinating and I expect looking at ones own behaviour is a good place to start. Trying to keep an open mind I started to explore the journals. I was pleasantly surprised and quite amazed at some of the questions posed. Questions that I had pondered in the past but not spent time investigating. One question that was asked implored me to think and explore my thoughts.

What do you want most in life?

The burning question that keeps the world turning. The question we ask ourselves continuously throughout our lives. The question we at times spend way too long pondering and then other times we push it aside for another day as it is too hard to answer.

Now getting close to 70 I can reflect on this and answer it fairly easily. Not with-standing  world issues, which I would hope applies to most people, to eliminate poverty, eradicate violence, protect all children, accept all beings for who they are and discover amazing things. We want to have a sustainable world in which to live and in an ideal world we would have peace. Who does not want this?

I believe to answer this question as an individual the answer is dependent on time and conditions within our lives. What I want most now differs to what I wanted in years gone by.  I only speak for myself here.

Overall – Late teen years I wanted freedom, independence, and excitement – personal level – I wanted  love and laughter in my life.

Overall – In my 20’s I wanted stability after a childhood of instability. Regular income, loving family  and good friends- personal level– I wanted my marriage to be strong and I wanted children.

Overall – In my 30’s I wanted to purchase our own home and I wanted safety, stability and a good future for my children – personal level – I wanted to be a good, honest, and approachable mother.  I wanted to improve my education and improve my ability to earn a higher income.

Overall – In my 40’s I wanted financial security and more time for fun and relaxation. Time  and money for Travel. Success for my children both in education and career – personal level – I wanted to be liked and valued by my family.

Overall – In my 50’s I wished for improved health services. I  wanted  longevity in our business – personal level. I wanted to fix my children and husband who were all struggling with ill health.

Overall – In my 60’s  I wanted Good Health, financial security, more foreseeable possibility of retirement – personal level . I wanted our life to slow down and to be easier.

Overall – Now approaching my 70’th year- I want people to learn from the experience of a pandemic. I want people to stop blaming the government for every shortcoming in their life and to take responsibility for their own actions. ( a sweeping statement, I know, a discussion for another blog). On a very personal level I just want to live long enough to be able to enjoy my retirement with my husband, I want good health for myself and my family members and my friends.  I want laughter, excitement, I want to be able to try new things, travel to new places and experience life in general.  

On Reflection

On an introspective level, I would like to stop bitching and complaining about people and situations at hand. I have noticed as I grow older, I have less tolerance and I am more bitter and less compassionate in my thoughts. I am guessing this is just a tiredness we get after a lifetime of pushing our own agenda’s, trying  always to be right or knowledgeable or simply trying to be noticed.  It is not a good look and not a productive way to live.  It is something I need to work on.

“If everything went the way we wanted, soon we would no longer have anything to write about, nothing to quide our daily thoughts.”

Paulo Coelho’s Blog

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